Prerare for final-test. Come and tell me anything you know

Next week,we'll have some test.I have an intention of training writing skill. Writing test really bothers me.

I want choose some topic and we write about it. And then we'll post it up our forum where people can check

for each other. Where there's will,there's hope (idiom).

Topic 1: Describing the place or a famous person

That's a great idea! I'll post later ...
and awaiting for your work...

Ok! i'm go ahead.
A favourite place
The park is a beautiful place.It take pople to natural.I know a park which is nearest my home.When I was a pupil,i used to come there with my friends.It was very big.When you stand in front of this park,you can see a sentence : " Welcome to National Park" on the gate.There had a lot of trees so the air was fresh.People created many games in this park for children.If you want go to fishing ,you could go to a lake behind the park.There had many interesting things for each person.I often go to there when i'm freee.It makes me happy and comfortable.I like these place very much.
The end .
thanks for reading.

Allow me to comment your writing as below:

- There're some sentences problems : choppy sentences and lack of Connectors.
- In descriptive paragraph, you shouldn't use past tense

Could I make a change ??

The park is a beautiful place because it takes (brings) people come back to nature.I like a park which is near my home.When I was a pupil,i used to come there with my friends to take easy.It was very big.At entrance, you can see a greeting band " Welcome to National Park" on the gate.There're a lot of trees, plants and flower so it fulls of fresh air. There are many games in this park for children and park benches for peole to have a break. If you want to go fishing ,you could go to the lake behind this park.I often go to there when i'm freee because it makes me feel relaxing and comfortable. It's really an interesting place and I like it very much.

That's my advise for your reference.
Anyway, I appreciate your attemp in writing ^_^

Thanks Mai.That's good comment.It has many details. why don't you write some topic?

This is my turn
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If you want to discover or learn more about Vietnamese ethnic groups with their manner and customs, the Vietnam museum of ethnology will be the best destination.It ‘s about 6 km far from city center and you can get there by bus or taxi. It includes outdoors and indoors display. The outdoor area is so large to present many architectural styles in house building of minorities (Ede, Tay, Dao, Hmong …) and numerous objects which reappear their daily life. Surrounding each house is a garden with green plants and between them are small paths and brigdes which lead you to another beautiful sceneries. In the middle of that space is a lake in peace , which sometimes used as stage for water puppet showing. You can enjoy the fresh air in here and feel like coming back to nature. Moreover, this is a favourite place for taking photo because of the beautiful sight and that are the reasons why my friends and I want to go there in freetime.
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Generally,there're many famous people in the world and one in my family. That's my mother! She is really famous not only to me but also to everyone who has contacted with her because of her kindness, stronges, authority and her personality. She is 51 years old but still strong like young woman with healthy and active appearance and her hard-working. She is a salewoman and always friendly, helpful and offers the good price to the clients. So she gets good impression from them and our bussiness is more and more growing. But in my family, she’s a big power in financial problems and making decision. She has loud voice especially when she shout at me to wake me up. Sometimes she has hot-temper and that make me nervous, stressful but sometimes not, even she’s so genorous and give me money with no reasons. Anyway, I love her for all things she makes to me and family.

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Hết pin rùi... mọi người comment giùm nhá. Thấy chưa ổn tẹo nào + lạc đề thì phải

+In the firt paragraph,you should add more details

+I'm not sure about grammar because my grammar is bad.

+The second paragraph is good.It's clean,detail.

Well noted with many thanks for your constructive commentation.
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Now we move to the next paragraph type : Process paragraph!
At first, i'll remark something about this kind of paragraph.
Process Paragraph is a description of how to do sth. It explains the step you need to follow to complete an activity.
Next, everyone who is interested in this topic or want to train your writing skill, writes a small paragraph with fee topic but follows the form of process paragraph

I write about topic: How to clean my new rent house .
The rent house is empty when you move to it.It's too dirty for you to live.You must make it cleanly.First,cleanup the floor and the wall.Then, take your furniture into new room.Next, renovate something wrong .Now your new room is full of furniture,you need classified and move it.After that, you can decorate new room by your style.Then, paint all the wall around by new colour.One impportan thing is check all electric equipment.Finally, conect your computer to Internet.After one working-hard day, a new room is ready to new your living.

nothing to write:(

^^ glad to know that you wrote after my advise, but there're some problems.
1. about topic: it should be " How to tidy up a new rent house or what should be done when moving on a new rent house" not "my house" because it's personal.

2.You shouldn't use the word "you" so much and it lacks of connector between sentences.

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A new rent house is usually empty and dirty when just moving in. So you need to tidy it up and more decorate to live in there. Firstly, clean up the floor, walls and celling by broom and duster. Then put your furniture into which space you want. Next, check around to find something need renovating .......

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I think the steps is unlogical ordered. pls check it again and arrange it

@ Mai: At the topic " The Vietnam museum of ethnology ", I think your content is quite good but there are some problems at the last sentence "Moreover, this is a favourite place for taking photo because of the beautiful sight and that are the reasons why my friends and I want to go there in freetime.". In my opinion, it should be a supporting idea, not concluding and there is an error about grammar at the underlined words.

Thanks Mai's compiment i'll rewrite it one more.
And for the_gunners who are you? Ta very much for coming. Would you care to do something?

Gunner is my son
Thanks my dear son. Why don't you write and post something here then we can check for each other. It'll be good for all

@ papa: I had a dinners at 20:13, then watched film and football match :d
@ Thanh: Don't you realize me (. Disappoint about you...

Losing weight fast and safely is not so difficult if you follow these advises. Firstly, have a certain plan to go on a diet by reducing radically the amout of foods in every meals. Next, check the nutrition in your diet regime. It should be more vegetable and less fatty content. In additional, you should do exercise, yoga or go to the gym to burn calorie and make muscles. Finally, don't forget to drink water and eat fruits as much as possible. In sumary, by following these advises, you can feel the result clearly in your body and your activeness and really suprised to recognize the changes.

Hanoi Flag Tower, which I like to visit, is one of the scared symbols of Hanoi city. It was built in 1812 under the dynasty of Emperor Gia Long on the South ground of Thang Long Royal Citadel. Nowaday, Tower is on Dien Bien Phu Street, in the campus of Vietnam military museum. Flag Tower consists of three floors and a shaft. Each floors has penguin pyramid shape and piles up from big to small. National Flag is on the top of Tower There is a way to lead to the first floor, and we can see two cannons are at two sides of gate. You can go around and see tanks, many kinds of Cannons, the wrecks of fighters, flaks under the ground of museum. On the second floor, there are four gate and spiral staircase that lead the top of Tower. If you stand at the top of tower and look at the north , you can see Doan Mon, which is one of Four remains of Hanoi old Citadel. Beside, we can view Lenin Park and nice roads with many rows of green trees. At this Height, we feel vast by land and cool by wind. Indeed, The flag Tower is not only to have historical value, but also to go sightseeing.

Nice to see your writing, Toàn.
Allow me to give my commentation.
This is a discriptive paragraph, so you should add more adjectives to describle more vivid.
There're still some sentense problems such as:

Hanoi Flag Tower, which (a place, where) I like to visit, is one of the scared symbols of Hanoi city. It was built in 1812 under the dynasty of Emperor Gia Long on the South ground of Thang Long Royal Citadel. Nowaday, Tower is (located in) on Dien Bien Phu Street, in the campus of Vietnam military museum. Flag Tower consists of three floors and a shaft. Each floors has penguin pyramid shape and piles up from big to small. National Flag is (hang) on the top of Tower There is a way to lead to the first floor, and we can see two cannons, (which) are at two sides of gate. You can go around and see tanks, many kinds of Cannons, the wrecks of fighters, flaks under the ground of museum. On the second floor, there are four gate and spiral staircase that lead the top of Tower. If you stand at the top of tower and look at the north , you can see Doan Mon, which is one of Four remains of Hanoi old Citadel. Besides, we can view Lenin Park and nice roads with many rows of green trees. At this Height, we feel vast by land and cool by wind. Indeed, The flag Tower has not only historical value, but also a good place to go sightseeing.

Thanks a lot for correction! It was my pleasure )
In this sentence : “ There is a way to lead to the first floor, and we can see two cannons, (which) are at two sides of gate.” , you add comma and word “which” but I think we should only add “that” because these cannons isn’t known (Restrictive clauses). If we use “where” for “ Hanoi Flag Tower”, it true because it is where everyone knows. You can reconsider at page 45, Writing I . Beside, I see more errors about grammar in my topic )

This is your topic.
“Losing weight fast and safely is not so difficult if you follow these advises. Firstly, have a certain plan to go on a diet by reducing radically the amout of foods in(1) every meals. Next, check the nutrition in your diet regime. It should be more vegetable and less fatty content. In additional(2), you should do exercise, yoga or go to the gym to burn calorie and make muscles. Finally, don't forget to drink water and eat fruits as much as possible. In sumary, by following these advises, you can feel the result clearly(3) in your body and your activeness and really suprised to recognize the changes.”

(1)I don’t think to use preposition in front of “every”, as like as “tomorrow” or “today”
(2)I think it is “ In addition”
(3)Behind “feel” is adj, not adv.
Maybe there are more problems that I don’t know

hì hì khá lắm con zai good luck to you in final test!

I knew who you are gunner I'm sorry I forgot your nickname.Welcome you join in this topic. Your writing is reality. Are you Mai's son ? Why?

My topic wrote for a long time because I know few terms. Therefore, I have to search by google and dictionary =)). The final test must'nt bring meterial. DIE :-|.
@ Thanh: Mai is my father. If you want to know, please ask her =))
Do you admire Professor Bao Chau Ngo :-?

Yes he is new my idol . how is your DLNN final-test Mai ?

Good luck to every one in final-test.Try and do your best

Not so good. I find that the longer i study, the more stupid i am.
My brain becomes flatter

oh Don't worry about it.That's life . To day, we have opportunity to training our skills.I think you'll have a good mark for 3 next final-test

hopeless . Chẳng ôn iếc j luôn, đi thi thế cho nó đúng thực lực